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Random “Late Night” Thoughts

I sit here naughtily smoking a cigarette in the house because it’s so freezing-balls-off cold outside, the last one awake. The Little Tyrant has been asleep for a good hour now, passed smooth out on the living room floor & transported off to bed. The Meat Man is cuddled up on the couch, snoring, with 2 of our dogs. They, also, are snoring. Late night at my house is 9:00 p.m. Lord, we are such parents. In our defense, our day starts at 6:30 every morning. There’s a good reason that we’re so worn out at this time of the evening that we fall asleep on the couch. It’s called a 2-year-old & 3 rowdy dogs. And today was actually a good day.

My last few mornings (with the exception of today) have started off with no coffee, which always makes for a bad day. Me without coffee is not a pretty sight, especially not in the morning. The first morning without my crack coffee, I realized while frowning at the pot for being empty, that it wasn’t. After a few seconds of internal argument about how gross it would taste & realizing I didn’t really care, I heated up the day-old coffee in the microwave & pretended it tasted good. At least it had some caffeine. And then I made the mistake of pouring the rest of it out & forgetting to run to the grocery store with the last of our change to buy more for the next day. The next morning, I glared at the coffee maker while I mentally kicked myself into next week.

It’d been a rather sleepless night, more so than usual even, because the Little Tyrant had slept most of the night in his room, but then woke the dogs up coming into our room. I just haven’t been sleeping well for quite some time now; I blame it on many different things: hormones that got whacked when I was preggo (because I used to sleep like the dead), the Meat Man and/or the Little Tyrant’s tornado-like sheet-twisting thrash-about sleeping tendencies with one miserable me sandwiched between them for the last year, my recently acquired Sonar Mommy Hearing (I can hear the slightest sound out of the ordinary while sleeping & am instantly wide-awake) which aggravates me to no end because as I said I have always been able to sleep through anything, the fact that until we gave up & put it on the floor a week ago my bed was a Pit of Death (the pit being a huge dip in the middle where I sleep, resulting in one or both of the boys rolling onto me 50,000 times a night, because gravity’s just cool like that).

You’d think I’d be used to it already, but only with the crutch of a gigantic cup of joe to help me out. Of course, all 3 of the dogs & my son could definitely sense my weakness & proceeded to raise such a huge racket between the 4 of them that it made my head & ears ring to the point of closing my eyes & covering my ears while hollering at them to knock it off, PLEASE NOW, it’s entirely too early for this sort of commotion & Mommy hasn’t had any coffee yet. Closing my eyes was definitely not a good idea because the sleepy part of my brain kept trying to overrule the responsible mommy side that insists I stay awake while anyone else is awake because you just never can tell what kind of mischief these 5 are going to get into if I close my eyes for an instant.

Many occasions that the Meat Man has kindly allowed me to sleep in while he gets up & takes care of things has brought me out of the bedroom with the decibel level, only to marvel at a huge mess & make some smartass comments about WTF his definition of taking care of things is b/c WTF HAPPENED?! This all happens when I open my mouth without the coffee filter on it & makes me seem terribly ungrateful, which really, I’m not. (No, really, honey…the first thing that should have come out of my mouth was “Thank you for letting me sleep in & cleaning the kitchen & starting the laundry & cooking breakfast while wrangling this mad house of animals.” Really, I love you & you’re the best.) I’m glad the Meat Man cleaned the kitchen, it’s just…why is there such a mess in every other part of the house? Did it not occur to you that the puppy might have had to pee, just a few times (6 times, actually, according to the puddles) since you’ve been awake today? And you’re telling me that you didn’t see a single one of these puddles occur? And where exactly have you been? Just shut your mouth, T. Just shut your mouth & drink your effin coffee to give your brain a kickstart before you go take your foot out.

Anyway, back the coffee situation. My sweet husband had to work a few hours on what is normally his day off & got to drink coffee at work, but couldn’t get away to bring me any. So you know what he did? He sent his boss over with a can for me. Isn’t the the sweetest, most knight-in-shining-armor thing ever? I know, he’s an effin rockstar. And I love him to pieces. Fortunately, this morning started with some coffee, hooray!

The last few days have been very trying with the Little Tyrant. Meltdown-a-licious, all around. Which is never fun for anyone. We had 2 really awful, frustrating days for everyone, followed by a great day today. But I spent most of today waiting for him to explode with the surreal feeling that at any moment, the sky was going to fall on me & I would regret my assessment of today being awesome. It wasn’t though. It snowed a bit this morning, but was gone within 30 minutes. Wet snow & mostly just cold, miserable weather. I figured the Little Tyrant would pitch a huge fit about being confined indoors, but he handled it with grace today. And Toy Story 2 & 3 for the millionth time each, with running commentary. But hey, I’ll take listening to Toy Story & my son’s narration & never-ending fascination with these movies any day over his epic meltdown tantrums. Pixar & Disney, my ears & sanity thank you very much today. Thanks for making an inside day bearable for my little dude.

And thank you, to the Little Tyrant & whatever Powers-That-Be, for suddenly making him completely forsake his late afternoon napping habit (you know, the one in which he wakes up at 7:40 p.m. either awesomely or horribly & leaves the fate of our evenings resting on which mood he happens to choose upon waking) & deciding instead to fall asleep consistently around 6:00 to 7:30 every evening & sleep all through the night. That’s pretty awesome. Even if it is only until 6:30 every morning. And even if it’s not entirely in his own room. Beggars can’t be choosers & I am so glad that the Grown-Ups now have some alone time for several hours every evening before the Sandman crawls out of the couch cushions & makes the Meat Man pass out while watching TV. Plus, what mom wouldn’t be thankful for getting to shower alone every night this week? I know, I know. The excitement of my life is just unbearable, right? Hahaha.

In other random thoughts, Pandora Radio totally rocks my socks off tonight. I love how you always know just what to play for me to jam out to at any given moment, Pandora.

On that note, I have been yawning uncontrollably for the last 20 minutes & am now starting to wonder why I’m wasting precious sleeping time on this blog. Hopefully I will sleep better tonight with the comforter nailed over our northern-facing window that should keep the wicked northern wind from howling so viciously through the cracks in the window & keeping me awake with its frosty fingers. Good night!



About faerybutterflye

I am a 26-year-old stay-at-home mom of a tyrannical 2-year-old son. I also have 3 fur children (aka the Muttley Crew). I am the wife of a fantastic man who is everything I've dreamed of my whole life. I am learning how to be happy with myself & my life.

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